


Dearly Departed

by The Monster Lady (VisceraNight)



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Angst, F/F, Have I Mentioned This Is Angst?, I Like To Torment Myself And Now You Can Join Me, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Romance, Takes Place At Some Nebulous Point In Time - Probably 1998, Which Is Still Not Really OK, You Get Turned Into a Vampire Though, You're The Character Who Dies :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 07:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15068504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/The%20Monster%20Lady
Summary: The tags say it all: You (a Hellsing soldier) die, you're turned into a vampire against your will, it's angst all the way down.





	Dearly Departed

~ Dearly Departed ~

You wake up.

You blink.

How is this possible?

"I thought I was dead," you say out loud to yourself.

Before you have a chance to be relieved that your death was just a dream, a familiar voice drawls, "Well, _technically_... you _are_ dead."

You stare at Alucard uncomprehendingly for a few long moments before your mind connects the dots.

"You turned me into a vampire?" you inquire, your voice blank of inflection. He offers a subtle nod in response, and something about that slight movement awakens the outrage within you which should have been your first response. _"You turned me into a VAMPIRE!"_ you shriek.

At least he has the grace to look ashamed once confronted with your displeasure at this revelation.

"Why would you do this to me?"

"You would have died if I hadn't-"

" _Technically_ ," you snap, cutting him off, "I'm dead now anyway. So, really, _why?_ "

Although the vampire is obviously uncomfortable, and you can guess the reason he's reluctant to answer, at length he admits, "Master's orders."

And... you can understand how, when seeing you dying right in front of her, Integra might have had a moment of panic and asked the vampire to "save" you. And it was, mostly likely, a _request_ at first - one which Alucard obviously must have declined to fulfill. You don't _think_ she would have jumped straight to ordering him to do it. Surely she wasn't _that_ distraught at the thought of your death. And you could forgive her for asking him, in the heat of the moment, to turn you. You could probably even forgive him for going along with it, if that had been the way things happened.

What you can't forgive is that she must have known you would never consent to becoming a vampire if given the choice (you know each other well enough for her to be perfectly aware of your stance on that), and that she ordered him to turn you anyway after he'd already expressed reservations about doing it.

You consider telling Alucard that you forgive him since he was only following orders and didn't really have a choice, but all you actually say is "I'm leaving."

You start to get up from the bed and he makes no move to stop you. You're awkwardly perched on the edge of the mattress with one leg folded under you and the other dangling off the side, your toes not quite reaching the floor, when the bedroom door swings open. You freeze as Integra enters the room, with Walter trailing after her.

With barely a glance at you, she asks Alucard, "How is she?"

"Angry," he replies, and leaves it at that.

"I'm leaving," you say, and stand up as if to prove your resolve.

Integra doesn't seem at all surprised by your reaction. You half-expect her to argue, to order you to stay, but all she says is a resigned: "If that's your choice."

 _She knew this would happen. She knew I wouldn't be able to accept this_.

She made her choice, and now you're making yours.

Walter gives you a pitying look on your way out.

~end~


End file.
